Hats that won’t make you look like a dork

It’s frickin’ freezing, Mr. Bigglesworth.

In the NYC area, it’s not exaggerating to say that for the past couple of weeks, the wind and cold can cut through a person, knife-like, making you wish you hadn’t been so damned vain as to not wear a thicker hat, pair of gloves, scarf, etc.
Of course, for some, fashion goes out the winter during the colder months, and when the consequences to not dressing appropriately for subzero temperatures are oh, hypothermia and frostbite, even Pretty in Pink Leopard can’t pooh pooh such a practical choice with her nose in the air.
But neither can I succumb to it.

Chunky sweaters that weigh a ton, hats with pom poms (seriously unless they’re for your kid, eww), puffer coats. It’s all so unnecessary considering that winter wear has come a long way.
So, without further ado, here are my choices for the most fabulous winter hats.

Channel Aretha at the inauguration in this fierce, big-bowed beret. ($38, Urban Outfitters) It’s silver and yet, somehow subdued. And… even better than the soul diva’s choice of headwear, this cutie can be dressed down as well as up. Respect!

A fedora in an eyelet-like weave ($8.80, Forever 21) can work in both cold and warmer weather. I also love the combo of a feminine shape in basic colors. (It’s available in black or brown.)

Cloches, while pretty, can be hard to wear for some due to their retro look. But basic black and pattern-free, this one ($12.80, Forever 21) could even become a winter staple.

Here’s the less “safe” version of the cloche, with jeweled embellishments ($12.80, Forever 21).

Berets are that perfect combination of structure and laid back. To keep this sure-to-be-warm knit style ($15, Urban Outfitters) more French girl and less lunch lady, don’t neglect that liquid eyeliner, leave some hair hanging out and… um… try not to smell like pickles?

There’s something about a big, floppy hat that lends a girl an air of mystery and sophistication. Seriously, I think it’s the new oversized sunglasses. Too bad most Hollywood starlets are too clueless to work this look for the paps. The trick is to make sure the hat can be adjusted around the face and hair as needed. Any hat that’s too stiff will just make you look like a church lady. This one (Topshop, 25 euros, also available in black) is just perfect.

There aren’t too many animal prints that could be considered ladylike, but somehow snow leopard manages to be both wild and expensive-looking. Of course, the fact that this one is made of real fur (rabbit) and leather ($350, Saks) probably has something to with it. Yeah, I like bunnies, too, but… so pretty!

Here’s a slightly more affordable version ($210, Lord & Taylor.) Hey, I did say “slightly.”

I don’t know why I like this wool captain’s hat ($15, Urban Outfitters). It’s neither vintagey looking nor especially rock-n-roll looking (My personal go-to looks). Maybe it’s because it looks like something Winona Ryder or Kate Moss would wear with a cute mini, black tights and the mother and father of overpriced handbags.